tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85353908379846222612024-03-05T04:05:39.267-08:00Life with boysUshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13200085795256555646noreply@blogger.comBlogger377125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-39557761296097438022015-03-02T11:31:00.002-08:002015-03-02T11:31:59.084-08:00Things are......changing in our house.......and that's ok......while things are more difficult, we are happy and safe.....and the boys are thriving<br />
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<br />Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-71264157524909495922014-09-16T15:52:00.001-07:002014-09-16T15:52:13.256-07:00RyanI need to share but because I'm friends with Ryan's birthmom on Facebook and on my other blog and there are things she doesn't need to know.<br />
Ryan has been with us for two years......and while that is a HUGE cause for celebration, the even bigger celebration is seeing him NOW versus his first year with us.<br />
It was hard......it was very hard....like, I hated parenting him hard......from not being able to walk up the stairs without him waking up to not being able to even take our eyes off him long enough to pee without him either crying or destroying something, even the crying from the time he awoken until he went to bed.......and the drool, no speech, no balance, no regulation skills, always sick, when crying holding his breath until his lips turned blue, gagging on his food and vomiting because the majority of his intake was liquid or stew-like.......just being used to do whatever he wants......fast forward two years (this is why I love time......because it does get better) I have a boy who is a chatter box (with a little bit of drool), has a curious mind, loves taking things apart to put them back together, who loves music and toys (he knows how to play with toys now!), going to school and loving it, having friends, being able to sleep through ANYTHING......he's amazing........<br />
and to clarify, it's all him! We provided love, boundaries and brought him to all the therapies (SLP, OT, PT, eye specialist,counselling) but he did all the hard work, he allowed himself to trust and he allowed himself to participate in all the therapies to be the best person he can be.......I am so proud of him! And love this little boy like crazy!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1eNBr2gSNeqGvBga2g-J3RpyVO7DEvkIJo0KEmKaAcchXa5dl9zzvuBumQ0712Sl6kPRe61RccQXsFiAcXJu5262V7qT4NjTAPPWnsffHqjsoztXiJKxvduHI__oH2GcDhT_LcSe12w/s1600/IMG_9386.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1eNBr2gSNeqGvBga2g-J3RpyVO7DEvkIJo0KEmKaAcchXa5dl9zzvuBumQ0712Sl6kPRe61RccQXsFiAcXJu5262V7qT4NjTAPPWnsffHqjsoztXiJKxvduHI__oH2GcDhT_LcSe12w/s1600/IMG_9386.JPG" height="400" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">our first meeting</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">our first meeting</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">our first meeting</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlCVMPtFN40fDxXIN5G3Zws8YGcJM7JneUzp78_bYR31LOXNmd3edoi0zr8L-cR9NSwB8upcSaW49BgiCCGo5UvRcI6nULeWw71phjENNFKhT8KXfZvW8qqWzC0h0QUgPxdfHyJznBKg/s1600/093.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlCVMPtFN40fDxXIN5G3Zws8YGcJM7JneUzp78_bYR31LOXNmd3edoi0zr8L-cR9NSwB8upcSaW49BgiCCGo5UvRcI6nULeWw71phjENNFKhT8KXfZvW8qqWzC0h0QUgPxdfHyJznBKg/s1600/093.JPG" height="400" width="398" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two years later</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two years later</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC1_tzZarvX5IXMF9VieON3VWWqKIj9JPv5Eaw147I_p-zQPaPbP0gqyDz_rlikuHZ5YAz7zeQHP56ysItTwPzGSV3IRHCyUNoXYG0uHa3_IeatlIusgBYFV_Y6v42h9aTUNzDSQ9wMQ/s1600/IMG_5215.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC1_tzZarvX5IXMF9VieON3VWWqKIj9JPv5Eaw147I_p-zQPaPbP0gqyDz_rlikuHZ5YAz7zeQHP56ysItTwPzGSV3IRHCyUNoXYG0uHa3_IeatlIusgBYFV_Y6v42h9aTUNzDSQ9wMQ/s1600/IMG_5215.JPG" height="221" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two years later</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnhX6m0aBJL8Mo65ba9aYsm9Lvuhh31IszaeLu_xJ8eGj7w045WLwyw3mWH8t9SiwRUFyJtFyA5_W7_yxNzr_8wCEu2riPf0ayWkW4aDLR6ghTdKgday5WygxCMWB5ZePTnlQAB05mvg/s1600/IMG_5224.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnhX6m0aBJL8Mo65ba9aYsm9Lvuhh31IszaeLu_xJ8eGj7w045WLwyw3mWH8t9SiwRUFyJtFyA5_W7_yxNzr_8wCEu2riPf0ayWkW4aDLR6ghTdKgday5WygxCMWB5ZePTnlQAB05mvg/s1600/IMG_5224.JPG" height="221" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two years later</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgisvMsvzPsFyvd3ZRZf0xLBXPVALGOaxA5MPcDhAFPiorze_0CrazWEcyognu-MsKfkCbbXShwJkyq_etOa5WwV39LjUST1yU7Yy1ATdlSYdBG7n1dm0Uw7oArU2jCEeHlvgInZcAjOQ/s1600/IMG_5311.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgisvMsvzPsFyvd3ZRZf0xLBXPVALGOaxA5MPcDhAFPiorze_0CrazWEcyognu-MsKfkCbbXShwJkyq_etOa5WwV39LjUST1yU7Yy1ATdlSYdBG7n1dm0Uw7oArU2jCEeHlvgInZcAjOQ/s1600/IMG_5311.JPG" height="400" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two years later</td></tr>
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Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-60434255385236757772014-08-04T14:49:00.000-07:002014-08-04T14:49:21.797-07:00A Weekend AwayA weekend away isn't what it used to be.......now I find creative ways to incorporate my kids into everything.......So, Civic Weekend, I had a college roommate reunion.........with our kids........We met 21 years ago! TWENTY.ONE! So between the 5 of us, we have 6 kids.......some of us meeting each other's children for the first time! It was wonderful and magical and tiring and filled with laughter........I couldn't ask for anything more! OH!!!!! And I peed in a real outhouse ALL weekend!Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-74656900225620988562014-05-10T07:27:00.007-07:002014-05-10T07:27:59.563-07:00Mother's DayTomorrow is Mother's day.......this year, I will get to celebrate my 5th (technically my 6th, my I hadn't met Adrien until five days after my "first" mother's day) Anyways, in North America, today is Birth Mother's Day........I have mixed emotions about it for many reasons, but mainly because mothers come in many forms. Tomorrow, people celebrate Grandmothers, Mothers, Aunts, and close friends. Why can't birth mothers be celebrated too. I don't know if it's because it can be painful for a birth mom to celebrate tomorrow when they aren't raising a child they have birthed or if it's because society hasn't deemed birth mother's "worthy" of mother status. What ever the reason, I want to share my opinion. I am celebrating my children's first moms.......tomorrow.......on Mother's Day. And though we won't be celebrating with them in person, they will be in my thoughts pretty much all day......just like every year since I became a mom......this year is a little more special because this year, I can put a face and personality to Adrien's first mom.....This year, Ryan's first mom will be celebrating with her new born son, but we will call her when we wake up so Ryan can wish her a happy day.....<br />
It's amazing how much love a person can have......yesterday was the first time since February that Adrien has asked and talked about his first mom.....so we sent her a Facebook message and within 5 minutes we had another picture of her and a response. He was beaming from ear to ear and kept asking if she said anything else (they basically had a brief chat over facebook)....it was a beautiful thing.........My heart is full.....<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He's so damn cute</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Reading to his little brother</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">CAN NOT get him off a bike.....he's is going to freak out when he wakes up on his 6th birthday to find a brand new red bike!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Always touching in their sleep</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXHHRIizAA8SmEtkV2oKSylm37wt2Hg3zAvLBxcQoya07DQA94TlZNmdeBoYiEOkPC4dy0yl5wqm4MsqssyssrFylamocgbsw6ykbKmYLKgo1WpmraG0gRoqXGPbLDBoiY1M83Mw0UNA/s1600/113.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXHHRIizAA8SmEtkV2oKSylm37wt2Hg3zAvLBxcQoya07DQA94TlZNmdeBoYiEOkPC4dy0yl5wqm4MsqssyssrFylamocgbsw6ykbKmYLKgo1WpmraG0gRoqXGPbLDBoiY1M83Mw0UNA/s1600/113.JPG" height="400" width="297" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They LOVE anything that requires chop sticks to eat with</td></tr>
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To all the women who are moms, first moms, step moms, long to be moms, will be moms, foster moms or anyone who has special children in their lives......Happy Mother's Day......may God bless you!</div>
Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-65674805745298249632014-03-18T14:03:00.000-07:002014-03-18T14:03:11.467-07:00I rememberGrowing up, I remember weekends spent with family.....aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins....There was always a kids table.......the men would sit together and the women would sit closest to the kitchen to serve the food......after dinner, the kids were the only ones to leave the table. I remember the loud laughter, shouting, yelling, pounding the table for emphasis and talking coming from the table. I remember stopping playing to watch the grown ups. I was fascinated by them. They had so much fun, teasing each other, joking, talking about the past, talking politics, gossiping......I was in awe.....it was one of my favourite things to do......just to watch them. The energy that came from the kitchen livened the whole house......and there was always a glow from the light.......This bantering would continue for hours.....until all the little kids had fallen a sleep, the teenagers had gone out and us middle aged kids were plopped in front of the TV, exhausted from playing with our cousins. It's one of my favourite memories from my childhood and it happened almost every weekend. Sometimes twice in one weekend!<div>
My sister is up for a visit....which means I have been spending a lot of time with my siblings and their spouses plus my dad, while my boys play with their cousins. Saturday evening, we were at my dads for dinner, there were 8 adults and 8 kids. We were in the dining room/kitchen, talking about the stupid things we did to each other as kids, shocking my dad with some of stories, making fun of each other and just laughing over the shouts of protest of incorrect memories......At one point in the evening, I looked at the french doors and noticed Adrien just watching us, with the same expression I think I may have had as a kid while I watched the grown ups.....and I know he too will remember the grown ups in the kitchen.....making noise, having a good time and I hope, in his adulthood, he has the opportunity to do the same. It is one of my wishes for him</div>
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Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-47044122277358279832014-02-09T15:31:00.001-08:002014-02-09T15:31:41.599-08:00ContactAfter 4.5 years of a closed adoption, Adrien's adoption is now considered open because there is contact with his biological family. WHAT?????? I know! It's a long story that started in September with a conversation as we drove to see his brother's first family and has kinda taken off.......where a week ago, Adrien's birth mom send him a message of love and missing. There will be no visits with her or her family in the near future, but possibly in the distance future, when he's older....and he asks to go and see her. (He has asked a couple of times to see her, I explain that right now she lives too far....so then he wants to go on an airplane)......I'm getting some slack from my family who think I have opened pandora's box and are worried about Adrien.....and while I forgive her actions (or lack there of) against my son, I will never forget...but something struck me, in talking to her and her mom. Her mom shared that she was assessed and wasn't functioning at full capacity and in talking to her, I can see that. I would put her at about 15......so my issue is, how do I hold her responsible for her lack of motherly instinct or lack of care of him when she didn't have the capacity to do more than she did...I don't think she was being malicious though I do believe her to be angry....but I think that's due to a lack of understanding. It is what it is.....and I need to figure it out for me......so that I can guide and support my son.......so, that's what's new, in a nutshell.....Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-36701600498235952802014-01-06T12:38:00.001-08:002014-01-06T12:38:04.387-08:00Work Christmas PartyI brought the boys to work with me on the 23rd of December. I was a client/family/staff/family holiday party. It was very well done. My favourite part was the photo booth<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr8moNuL6UTeHlBImiaIFEnTQ4jhwYGQJvoWrg1hi5btI3TPeZSPPVtZTPbCXJsQkW5GPoEVJrbo5Gtp2f3My9fB3bXyOxpETGYBSnEbp3ZXv3yeJV5lPjT1fF3ocbk3cg5eYqL__AEw/s1600/IMG_0700+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr8moNuL6UTeHlBImiaIFEnTQ4jhwYGQJvoWrg1hi5btI3TPeZSPPVtZTPbCXJsQkW5GPoEVJrbo5Gtp2f3My9fB3bXyOxpETGYBSnEbp3ZXv3yeJV5lPjT1fF3ocbk3cg5eYqL__AEw/s1600/IMG_0700+(1).JPG" height="640" width="423" /></a></div>
<br />Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-7889282263553538642013-12-21T11:51:00.001-08:002013-12-21T11:51:26.303-08:00DecemberThis is what our life has been in pictures for the last little while!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVv_d6B36C9Vu65JLXHUCLEupbadBn4Utgutqmv7uBWtGcWq2onQAIecaFYpiOxA0npsmkm1EHPQgLHROa9hw2CK4TtAgjUGsw3XVRw7j2l5SFeS0IQnFhAmsIslVaj4VR8Dwpt5F0rg/s1600/177.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVv_d6B36C9Vu65JLXHUCLEupbadBn4Utgutqmv7uBWtGcWq2onQAIecaFYpiOxA0npsmkm1EHPQgLHROa9hw2CK4TtAgjUGsw3XVRw7j2l5SFeS0IQnFhAmsIslVaj4VR8Dwpt5F0rg/s400/177.JPG" width="297" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A pictures of our visit with Santa</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Christmas party</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLQgo9e6Tr1Iuv1w5xdYiSrD-NhK8Dm_a-fRhnJP3Ofdg62VfqYIM0aN7YNr1gGei_UE6XSvkaqAU0tuus6bJDWPTAJekJEoDdRG2NcARHVJlVtUkrWC7qcp11b6KGuTWQs-NfEmNLGA/s1600/038.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLQgo9e6Tr1Iuv1w5xdYiSrD-NhK8Dm_a-fRhnJP3Ofdg62VfqYIM0aN7YNr1gGei_UE6XSvkaqAU0tuus6bJDWPTAJekJEoDdRG2NcARHVJlVtUkrWC7qcp11b6KGuTWQs-NfEmNLGA/s400/038.JPG" width="297" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">helping out</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqyTaj68RdgSbcCYD6rpUfAQQcMnEDulNpkvfeawlxmnEMUYiJ41nQQVPCnILvrIxj8-b7r-UPEDDH4CemJAWz-wlRiRSoh-ps66QQn87VmY0g_65D5r3wtBMuQC_KuLrHLupv6Ty-gg/s1600/IMG_4730.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqyTaj68RdgSbcCYD6rpUfAQQcMnEDulNpkvfeawlxmnEMUYiJ41nQQVPCnILvrIxj8-b7r-UPEDDH4CemJAWz-wlRiRSoh-ps66QQn87VmY0g_65D5r3wtBMuQC_KuLrHLupv6Ty-gg/s400/IMG_4730.JPG" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">fell a sleep at the dinner table</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiZSxUVG43TTKtm00rXrotf0kz47ja-qtM0uAxQYp7GDthERfWf92uPriUjZ5GOJTK6b6fn4Gmqce_IY6ThDWQrfnP3DwMJQpV0mX-duEH5nj1K-p778EcipbNBoG53ShKlmeQf4T0-w/s1600/IMG_4731.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiZSxUVG43TTKtm00rXrotf0kz47ja-qtM0uAxQYp7GDthERfWf92uPriUjZ5GOJTK6b6fn4Gmqce_IY6ThDWQrfnP3DwMJQpV0mX-duEH5nj1K-p778EcipbNBoG53ShKlmeQf4T0-w/s400/IMG_4731.JPG" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elfie, our Elf on the Shelf, came back</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrQo_Pn2uctMTTW7H4Rq09E2MhiMuqK2YIYNcWIwKmfLISl74IBsQSfakHrAxdNZINdKzEjR1EeyEWKJ4d73l0nO2-cf2WAuF-F1X8ktHZNBz_cAF9Rd87Hlka87Md1eKbS_gLDKJLDA/s1600/IMG_4742.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrQo_Pn2uctMTTW7H4Rq09E2MhiMuqK2YIYNcWIwKmfLISl74IBsQSfakHrAxdNZINdKzEjR1EeyEWKJ4d73l0nO2-cf2WAuF-F1X8ktHZNBz_cAF9Rd87Hlka87Md1eKbS_gLDKJLDA/s400/IMG_4742.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tree decorating</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg6TG5LgH71qMOrV0S08ckzSQWIw_Pgi-pjrCv4uzbCCv2MHQDvKFoSQLbDSZvJV8Yl_Uc0BucUH_usixkUmrjXcB7iqI6rftWdeg_BWWsObtdJCSoSg2v57IsUKwOxBmOiANrCOz1SQ/s1600/IMG_4745.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg6TG5LgH71qMOrV0S08ckzSQWIw_Pgi-pjrCv4uzbCCv2MHQDvKFoSQLbDSZvJV8Yl_Uc0BucUH_usixkUmrjXcB7iqI6rftWdeg_BWWsObtdJCSoSg2v57IsUKwOxBmOiANrCOz1SQ/s400/IMG_4745.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tree decorating</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj36HlnweRAjYipHxfdBkwOjgGJCabZzHGolDkTdo-YRbUsO2h_93Ry_yjG7HIcQh_XsqvMjLw4mEJI1SlrVMEbGTYRTMPNiANKuLLCcRo4whu-b7zkd-06OKNW9phmymSgDW_ZNzHnYg/s1600/IMG_4753.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj36HlnweRAjYipHxfdBkwOjgGJCabZzHGolDkTdo-YRbUsO2h_93Ry_yjG7HIcQh_XsqvMjLw4mEJI1SlrVMEbGTYRTMPNiANKuLLCcRo4whu-b7zkd-06OKNW9phmymSgDW_ZNzHnYg/s400/IMG_4753.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tree decorating</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWtkwV1tWcPqRRjWa6sxUBd5Wysr8PmReLvXwSoTBihlLSAE7v5A1sSh4lbdqWvuNOfUloK9VYDlrzIxLqQ8cII5Gpk_HsLHY-8MNIpoQAZ0b5evt2iQMIM6w1PnulN3zvKP8k1zMcPg/s1600/IMG_4756.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWtkwV1tWcPqRRjWa6sxUBd5Wysr8PmReLvXwSoTBihlLSAE7v5A1sSh4lbdqWvuNOfUloK9VYDlrzIxLqQ8cII5Gpk_HsLHY-8MNIpoQAZ0b5evt2iQMIM6w1PnulN3zvKP8k1zMcPg/s400/IMG_4756.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Getting the stockings ready</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJI-SAqAlrbEjefmWDQLJj30Ixq_jJ5SCllGRRnNfSq9Yfz7I-4Y1zqcDgG0zVcsyOcXvpaUKqIQxOd2pD9lzsmTjb06LMnC54vTJvyBFtGfmUrAzsYxN3Pyb9dFgLixE-Qmmy5DVpCQ/s1600/IMG_4758.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJI-SAqAlrbEjefmWDQLJj30Ixq_jJ5SCllGRRnNfSq9Yfz7I-4Y1zqcDgG0zVcsyOcXvpaUKqIQxOd2pD9lzsmTjb06LMnC54vTJvyBFtGfmUrAzsYxN3Pyb9dFgLixE-Qmmy5DVpCQ/s400/IMG_4758.JPG" width="221" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw3l9xopAkPQboJa9yjBJw-2DZNNeHnavotCbTXef4WLw6ZaEbMKNeD2VSwllimporI6EwbcYAePQKnZlKg8GX1DWlqyEbSu_5EEkKzLPMCfa3P-uFX-2-6U3SRZZUJ03K2sEaRkyB7w/s1600/IMG_4760.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw3l9xopAkPQboJa9yjBJw-2DZNNeHnavotCbTXef4WLw6ZaEbMKNeD2VSwllimporI6EwbcYAePQKnZlKg8GX1DWlqyEbSu_5EEkKzLPMCfa3P-uFX-2-6U3SRZZUJ03K2sEaRkyB7w/s400/IMG_4760.JPG" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh Elfie!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivzh1LnQK2cyHkSuHuJYPDMV2vy_3gdQqWbKNeoyPZtBgrRjtQQ6I58dAKBqCnRoGO2ZUbxJPVIlx2tap_wpmww-QhlARwT9TelS2G60n2QRzKKjjZQN2P-OHW_Ar6su5epi9BJc7Ppw/s1600/IMG_4761.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivzh1LnQK2cyHkSuHuJYPDMV2vy_3gdQqWbKNeoyPZtBgrRjtQQ6I58dAKBqCnRoGO2ZUbxJPVIlx2tap_wpmww-QhlARwT9TelS2G60n2QRzKKjjZQN2P-OHW_Ar6su5epi9BJc7Ppw/s400/IMG_4761.JPG" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eating his gingerbread house</td></tr>
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<br />Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-35853592743487487482013-11-27T18:11:00.001-08:002013-12-21T11:52:27.519-08:00'Round hereI hate sounding like a downer, I hate complaining about my life, I hate being so needy........but life is getting harder....I've started a new job and am trying to figure out how to balance two jobs, while experiencing one of the biggest learning curves of my life, while then doing BOTH jobs.....and neither one of them being done well. Then imagine a having a child who is having nightmares or something all night and keeps everyone awake pretty much all night, then you have another one who wants to know his BM, he has questions and needs to have them answered (no, we are NOT contacting the birth family but I will be contacting the social worker and request that she try a bit harder to get us a picture of BM....and trying to deal with my own feelings about the whole thing.....needless to say, I have been under a lot of pressure (self induced) and stress about being everything I needed to and so much more.....I crashed two weekends ago.....and I crashed hard. Hubby made a suggestion about something and I went cuckoo.....I was crying and then couldn't stop crying, then was choking from laughing because I was so amused that I couldn't stop crying....I am slowly crawling back into the sunlight, with a smile! The boys are doing well.....Adrien's teacher wanted to talk to me and share her concerns about getting him tested as he won't attend during class and they can't get information out of him to see what he knows.....we are working on that......Ryan, oh my poor poor baby Ryan, he had a specialist appointment on Tuesday and she suggested that he wasn't waking up due to nightmares but more likely due to wax build up and the pressure created from it. He needs to get his ears suctioned and will be seen by an ENT to see if he requires tubes in his ears......I have a night away coming up this weekend. In the last 4 and a half years of being a parent, this will be the second night I have spent away from Adrien and the first from Ryan.....I get to spend some quality time with the most wonderful girlfriend.....<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Adrien writing a story Ryan about Puppies</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Halloween 2013, Minions</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is what co sleeping looks like in our house</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mommy date discussion</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My attempt at Ryan's 3rd Bday Cake</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Super Hero</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So much love, so much happiness, so much fun<br />
So Blessed <3 td=""><!--3--></3></td></tr>
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<br />Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-22716103337900072752013-09-21T08:55:00.000-07:002013-09-21T08:55:20.922-07:00PregnantMy son's birth mom is pregnant again......and I'm struggling with it for so many different reasons.....reasons I can't put into words yet....my heart breaks for her because I know she's trying to fill a void in her life.....but I'm also angry with her because I know the situation and I know she's not in a position to parent right now.......I hope everything turns out for this little baby coming into the world and that the right decisions are made for him/her......Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-3556172445956727872013-09-21T08:53:00.002-07:002013-09-21T08:53:54.290-07:00Adrien's in SKWe had a busy summer and are settling nicely into September. My big boy is in SK.....I can't believe he's almost 5 1/2! Seems like yesterday he was a baby. I've noticed big changes in Adrien this school year. he seems happier, though some of his school skills have regressed, like his printing and his mono-coloured art work, but he is a free thinker and those will come!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brother needed to get in the action</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh my, how he's grown!<br /><br /></td></tr>
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We attended his open house this week and he is such a ham. While I was talking to the teacher, he was greeting and directing everyone coming into the classroom.....he has such a BIG charismatic personality......he was walking through the school talking to strangers and talking to them about the art on the walls.....he continuously blows me away. The other thing I've noticed is his relationship with his dad. It is starting to bloom.....and though a little envious that he doesn't need just me as much, I'm so happy to see their relationship grow.<div>
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Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-33698600682633513422013-07-07T11:12:00.003-07:002013-07-07T11:12:56.194-07:00LatelyThings seem to go in cycles around here.....either things are really good or really bad......lately it's been very difficult.<br />
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Ryan seems to be struggling.......he seems to be in panic mode....fight or flight for the last couple of months. It has gotten so difficult, that hubby has called me to come home from work on several occasions. We've had a case conference for him, with lots of great ideas and support coming out of it.<br />
The most profound things for me was the realization that this little boy is in an unconscious heighten state of panic. We have reached the time period that he historically has been removed from his current home. Every thing he does, everything he says........its proof that he's scared.<br />
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Confession: until recently, hubby and I haven't probably been the best parents to him....losing our patience, getting angry and yelling way more then we ever have......we are frustrated. It wasn't until Adrien said to me that he wanted me to have a conversation with dad about all the yelling did I realize how much yelling we were doing. And it wasn't until Adrien begged me not to send him or Ryan away, did I realize how much he listens to conversations he shouldn't be. After reassuring him that no one is leaving this family EVER, that I was able to share with him that the yelling is from frustration and that will try very hard to change it. He then shared that he understood frustration too, when Ryan hits him, takes his things or breaks his things. The last bit has been better.....and we are continuously talking to each other, the kids and supports about how to make things better. Looking for any insights!Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-18959367184134437822013-06-29T13:26:00.001-07:002013-06-29T13:26:26.383-07:00JK to SKMy baby boy has completed his first year of the education system. He has learned so much, both good and bad but more importantly he has grown and matured even more. I knew he was growing but had no idea until I compared......what do you think?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He went from being a scared little boy to the king of the castle<br />Noticed how much he's grown!</td></tr>
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<br />Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-8206324682044951062013-06-23T17:16:00.000-07:002013-06-23T17:16:04.475-07:00Here is comesSo I'm loving my new phone....can't remember life without it! (LOL). I've had so much fun playing with different apps and taking tons of pictures that I thought I would do a HUGE picture post! Enjoy!<br />
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<br />Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-63350981892857018012013-06-23T17:12:00.001-07:002013-06-23T17:12:28.671-07:00Mother's DayToday is Mother's Day in North America and as we focus of the lucky women who are mothers, there are plenty of women out there today who are all alone.....Remembering them also honours me.....I remember those painful Sunday mornings, waking up and knowing I would have to call everyone and wish them a Happy Mother's Day while inside I was dying. It's not the joyous occasion everyone on TV says it is........and to me, every day with my boys is Mother's Day!Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-59456422326659212482013-06-23T17:11:00.000-07:002013-06-23T17:11:03.993-07:005He's a whole hand of fingers today.....Adrien is 5........I can barely believe how fast time has flown.....how much laughter and tears have filled our home, how one little person could save me.....<br />
Recap of birthday fun.............This year, he wanted a camping theme....so a camping theme he got<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">signage</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">cupcakes for school</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">fire</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">birthday sign</td></tr>
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<br />Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-69279615777466440062013-06-23T17:10:00.001-07:002013-06-23T17:10:54.470-07:00A whileI know it's been a while since I last posted but I have been so busy with work and crazy with the family. I'm tired.....deep down tired......like an exhaustion that I can't shake......<br />
We are doing ok as a family.....Adrien is excited about school being done, Ryan will be starting daycare two days a week.....and I have the month of August off......Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-34893822614793225492013-05-16T05:42:00.000-07:002013-05-16T05:42:07.861-07:00He's going to be 5My baby is going to be 5 on Saturday......I'm torn......mourning the baby that made me a mom, so proud of the big boy he's become......Mission Camping Birthday Party is under way......things are coming together and getting done.....pictures to followDeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-65910101082861882232013-05-07T18:52:00.000-07:002013-05-07T18:52:47.604-07:00Four Years AgoIt was four years ago today that I got <a href="http://adriensworld.blogspot.ca/2009/10/call.html">the call</a> that I was a mother......after 35 years (I believe I wanted to be a mom from the minute I was born)....after years of IVF......after years of expenses.......after years of anger, hurt and sadness.......I was a mother. The thought of opening the door and seeing those blue eyes so excited to me makes me speed the whole way home. The thought of being cuddled in the middle of the night no longer upsets me when it's him.....The thought of his little fingers wrapping themselves around my fingers make my heart swell with the amount of trust he has in me. The thought of his face lightening up makes me melt.........And though we are not blood, he is my son......he has soooo many of my mannerisms, my expressions....my words........he is my son.....and I love him (and his brother) more than anything and anyone on this earth......and I would move mountains for him.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5dk9hmlcquhTAGZ2Jtj5oYBMEdw57tZ7s_cJzcxtxYcbhr8EFYpkxMZR5VxdpUNv-VoOUqNm0ZI16e62Kg5LdXPOSbt8fLwuGmaoztoAv1VhJVOhT9DyWj7wlbaAdRmEZoxIEwKI0zA/s1600/IMG_8171.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5dk9hmlcquhTAGZ2Jtj5oYBMEdw57tZ7s_cJzcxtxYcbhr8EFYpkxMZR5VxdpUNv-VoOUqNm0ZI16e62Kg5LdXPOSbt8fLwuGmaoztoAv1VhJVOhT9DyWj7wlbaAdRmEZoxIEwKI0zA/s400/IMG_8171.JPG" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">May 2012...at the beach</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">June 2012.....City Hall Splash Pad</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">July 2012.....Canada Day party</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxjTsb3MxVWqFeu2LRPL70KvF1AL01v3RgLNABhpeZDI2eeJ-9_l3OvjgZuUrRf6mLFlrTldU73h2YegXnz7iy97RgRCSHhRJmGI0PNwztov-cERWL8GkpqiPsGNimKLRUgjs7F8Fr5w/s1600/IMG_9341.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxjTsb3MxVWqFeu2LRPL70KvF1AL01v3RgLNABhpeZDI2eeJ-9_l3OvjgZuUrRf6mLFlrTldU73h2YegXnz7iy97RgRCSHhRJmGI0PNwztov-cERWL8GkpqiPsGNimKLRUgjs7F8Fr5w/s400/IMG_9341.JPG" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">August 2012.....I'm a big brother</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjusScgKQfIW6b_blPbKtVkPqc4q49DvzN32nCgXDTk-CJsQsu8qYDkYtWj-iyi9dE2EXqQOgYAWSiolcD_AjqcGhVn2Ax5abQC4vTWbxtDf_1oAF10h7XvZ2-fZYYU2A96RwZ4R0I2qw/s1600/IMG_0073.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjusScgKQfIW6b_blPbKtVkPqc4q49DvzN32nCgXDTk-CJsQsu8qYDkYtWj-iyi9dE2EXqQOgYAWSiolcD_AjqcGhVn2Ax5abQC4vTWbxtDf_1oAF10h7XvZ2-fZYYU2A96RwZ4R0I2qw/s400/IMG_0073.JPG" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">September 2012.....First day of school</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGGRghhQILk-lt48mZ-x2ON-O4wmMdihknNrs7RzeCBk516hMvawdAJBRJtlBj1l8BpJz2iQ0olv_m9_S4xUzMgOPaTLtSe8Nwc8Bp66kCVrU8ohiDu-wL-wUZ1lILlmpKPkB1LmcDCA/s1600/IMG_0880.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGGRghhQILk-lt48mZ-x2ON-O4wmMdihknNrs7RzeCBk516hMvawdAJBRJtlBj1l8BpJz2iQ0olv_m9_S4xUzMgOPaTLtSe8Nwc8Bp66kCVrU8ohiDu-wL-wUZ1lILlmpKPkB1LmcDCA/s400/IMG_0880.JPG" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">October 2012......Thanksgiving</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicyU9s3NFZ8ZSYfiRqufqD8UMt-14tkOrJyNyfNYvHMmul_lS7bi6XkBTuZEBPtVBB3Gd-b5R9uT5StwIudJqQPOSzQlmLGzrjRcg11f7rPILoSGn3Cvo15Cs0a9SZa3-ePA1wyJoCGQ/s1600/IMG_0488.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicyU9s3NFZ8ZSYfiRqufqD8UMt-14tkOrJyNyfNYvHMmul_lS7bi6XkBTuZEBPtVBB3Gd-b5R9uT5StwIudJqQPOSzQlmLGzrjRcg11f7rPILoSGn3Cvo15Cs0a9SZa3-ePA1wyJoCGQ/s400/IMG_0488.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">November 2012.....growing so fast....his Movember attempt</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJaHrbN2WRY5W9y6f0PdwESBS31VQYRs95xr0YGKY2QEMf3DbWuc7rOVIlDeUO1hM9n73pUQddgK0twWRoOPDWgSD8M3gQP8o6m-A3EuhS0QtJ0lnaY-ukvjXLmiXm4u2sG-U1m6b1uQ/s1600/IMG_1230.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJaHrbN2WRY5W9y6f0PdwESBS31VQYRs95xr0YGKY2QEMf3DbWuc7rOVIlDeUO1hM9n73pUQddgK0twWRoOPDWgSD8M3gQP8o6m-A3EuhS0QtJ0lnaY-ukvjXLmiXm4u2sG-U1m6b1uQ/s400/IMG_1230.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">December 2012, Christmas Cheer</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoXBueDSsH2PKKRccTLOX9lFKn5qyMALLY31zmulf8NtYS9ilPlgS2Hh_mzc8dkW2wq3vzbhDL8RykpXqxi8uGIAwpQK12PUV58eWXzmn4we94tp-y7y4lNDu7JmJ-QCMiCbyGosShCw/s1600/IMG_1786.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoXBueDSsH2PKKRccTLOX9lFKn5qyMALLY31zmulf8NtYS9ilPlgS2Hh_mzc8dkW2wq3vzbhDL8RykpXqxi8uGIAwpQK12PUV58eWXzmn4we94tp-y7y4lNDu7JmJ-QCMiCbyGosShCw/s400/IMG_1786.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">January 2013, Our Preformer</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRSSXEU07PTdAWzdA6YM1kg6uX250TDBHsuiHd0TS8l2y-a0M6B8_Cn4_Tvj2Sqol-k2egCYIbh_rnMNPhJoNDTR66cbgoXHDYeQIiWhc3q34ICxutHDLUmHkgHhvrdLFLvv4t0uY5tQ/s1600/IMG_2078.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRSSXEU07PTdAWzdA6YM1kg6uX250TDBHsuiHd0TS8l2y-a0M6B8_Cn4_Tvj2Sqol-k2egCYIbh_rnMNPhJoNDTR66cbgoXHDYeQIiWhc3q34ICxutHDLUmHkgHhvrdLFLvv4t0uY5tQ/s400/IMG_2078.JPG" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">February 2013, shooting darts at Mommy</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinyABnXYa4P-I6wZMkz8PFKVLiSzchMOPbacn5dbTXfiE3_vn_O-3V07LDmd3kGqfjjXYZZLXjeP4lGJ5-K57_IbdThZxaHnKLaE_hLGWGqNZ0AmDOBYloTFucBW2gQBnKaqylATWLYQ/s1600/IMG_2316.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinyABnXYa4P-I6wZMkz8PFKVLiSzchMOPbacn5dbTXfiE3_vn_O-3V07LDmd3kGqfjjXYZZLXjeP4lGJ5-K57_IbdThZxaHnKLaE_hLGWGqNZ0AmDOBYloTFucBW2gQBnKaqylATWLYQ/s400/IMG_2316.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">March 2013.....Dancing Madness</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoIjbiPQ6eTl3F2kpggX9VwcrGgZULr-gyLoB9msCZ1iMjlT5w5fO4BvHj0yBN7nZjrRb1EJCVUdxjRX8S2WyXxBA71s6v3rbyprcNnWBjGEzOP-g7s0SYc6Okb-_xoDowxDItu5sFQQ/s1600/IMG_2699.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoIjbiPQ6eTl3F2kpggX9VwcrGgZULr-gyLoB9msCZ1iMjlT5w5fO4BvHj0yBN7nZjrRb1EJCVUdxjRX8S2WyXxBA71s6v3rbyprcNnWBjGEzOP-g7s0SYc6Okb-_xoDowxDItu5sFQQ/s400/IMG_2699.JPG" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">April 2013.....Cousin's First Communion</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB7pftuuU8ejVRnYh2ICmPkY2KCq2UrH36SgrZmSBVTs5bWpXu5LF6wIMK5FbdByuhXARu0xiI3lP1j5VSEwB3Gi8HrUJhH3ITK7icvfwoMQjcC3s-6hyOLNRCMImFUVAKQV0oZBEhzg/s1600/IMG_3120.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB7pftuuU8ejVRnYh2ICmPkY2KCq2UrH36SgrZmSBVTs5bWpXu5LF6wIMK5FbdByuhXARu0xiI3lP1j5VSEwB3Gi8HrUJhH3ITK7icvfwoMQjcC3s-6hyOLNRCMImFUVAKQV0oZBEhzg/s400/IMG_3120.JPG" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">May 2013....Roasting Marshmellows at Nonno's</td></tr>
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<br />Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-61482194964364028782013-05-02T18:33:00.003-07:002013-05-02T18:33:32.508-07:00lifelife seems to be settling a bit.....we did get some more information about Ryan from a Dr, a provisional diagnosis of sorts, which sent me into a tail spin....but I'm taking it with a grain of salt......I am calling a case sharing so that the social workers know what we're are really going through and will be inviting the SLP, the OT, Infant development and the attachment therapist....we will work through this and Ryan will have the best life possible.....because he is worth the fight..I will never give up on him....he is my son.....he is my life<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXsepfhGTeo4MbUfXdiqh0tXPzEju-yCbdU_Y_5HWh1PQ6Smx1ucC1lCbhJcT-T4TFcr8Z2sf4PjXUT6eqUxgOYbDI5BM3pAb2voJXZ_-GeiqM0DNeLpCfGjz_NzvqUipsbHIXWFbzxg/s1600/IMG_3082.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXsepfhGTeo4MbUfXdiqh0tXPzEju-yCbdU_Y_5HWh1PQ6Smx1ucC1lCbhJcT-T4TFcr8Z2sf4PjXUT6eqUxgOYbDI5BM3pAb2voJXZ_-GeiqM0DNeLpCfGjz_NzvqUipsbHIXWFbzxg/s400/IMG_3082.JPG" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Telling me he needs a helmet cause he wants to ride his bike</td></tr>
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<br />Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-11573305366593344782013-04-23T17:51:00.001-07:002013-05-02T18:29:44.190-07:00“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”We are struggling with Ryan......my hubby is ready to give up......he's not doing well.....we can't take our eyes off of him for one second.....he is destroying our home, putting a wedge between hubby and I......and we can't afford all the therapy he needs to get him up to where he needs to be. We have started Theraplay....well, we were assessed.....we have been asking and asking the agency for help, and they have been saying yes and then nothing comes of it.....I truly believe hubby might walk.....he's too overwhelmed......he's tired and my work hours don't help. The agency is pushing us to finalization....we are pushing back.......they don't get it......the trauma this child has endured may be too much for us to work on by ourselves.....we need their help and they aren't willing to help......<br />
But Ryan....how I love that child......how I get so angry with him.....how I feel so guilty about the anger....how I feel like no one is listening.....how I am feeling hopeless.....how I feel like it's all my fault for saying yes......But Ryan......how I love that child and know he is kind, smart and important......and I'm scared he's hearing how he is bad, unlovable and a problem.......I hope I never give him that message but I'm scared that's what he's hearing and seeing.....so many people have already gotten "rid" of him....but I am his mother......I love him.....I'm so proud of the gains he has made in 7 short months after 22 months of damage......I love him......I am his mother.......Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-87188374796172323042013-03-25T14:57:00.002-07:002013-03-25T14:57:47.914-07:00Parenting<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes I feel so inadequate as a parent, a mom.....I'm afraid I'm not doing the right thing for my kids.... I feel like they have already struggled so much in their short lives.....first through the abuse, then with the uncertainty of their future and finally the adjustment home, to us. I struggle and try daily to be a better parent, to be more patient, more understanding, more loving and a better teacher. My friend and neighbour is the one who normally gets to hear my worries and she sent me an<a href="http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/03/12/to-parents-of-small-children-let-me-be-the-one-who-says-it-out-loud/"> article </a>today.....here is the part that got to me the most....</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"></span><br />
<div style="line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="word-wrap: break-word;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">If you are a parent of small children, you know that there are moments of spectacular delight, and you can’t believe you get to be around these little people. <b style="word-wrap: break-word;">But let me be the one who says the following things out loud:</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="word-wrap: break-word;"><i style="word-wrap: break-word;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out a way for your children to eat as healthy as your friend’s children do. She’s obviously using a bizarre and probably illegal form of hypnotism.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="word-wrap: break-word;"><i style="word-wrap: break-word;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">You are not a terrible parent if you yell at your kids sometimes. You have little dictators living in your house. If someone else talked to you like that, they’d be put in prison.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="word-wrap: break-word;"><i style="word-wrap: break-word;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="word-wrap: break-word;"><i style="word-wrap: break-word;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">You are not a terrible parent if you’d rather be at work.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="word-wrap: break-word;"><i style="word-wrap: break-word;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">You are not a terrible parent if you just can’t wait for them to go to bed.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="word-wrap: break-word;"><i style="word-wrap: break-word;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">You are not a terrible parent if the sound of their voices sometimes makes you want to drink and never stop.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="word-wrap: break-word;"><i style="word-wrap: break-word;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">You’re not a terrible parent.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="word-wrap: break-word;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">You’re an actual parent with limits. You cannot do it all. We all need to admit that one of the casualties specific to our information saturated culture is that we have sky-scraper standards for parenting, where we feel like we’re failing horribly if we feed our children chicken nuggets and we let them watch TV in the morning.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small; word-wrap: break-word;">I know it's the opinion of one person but somehow it made me feel better.....I'm not struggling alone and I am human</span></div>
Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-69767867153414619922013-03-18T17:17:00.003-07:002013-03-20T18:31:48.544-07:00They are special<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/magda-pecsenye/steubenville-rape-mother-letter_b_2902943.html?ir=Canada&utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=3135474,b=facebook">A Letter to My Sons About Stopping Rape</a><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I came across this article on Facebook.....the woman writing the article has hit on so many important point that I agree with and have been trying to raise my boys by. Though the topic is stopping rape, a lot of her teachings coincide with my beliefs and how I'm trying to raise my boys. Hubby and I argue about the points....my dad and relatives make snide remarks to my kids.....but I don't care.....what I'm teaching them is so much more important...... These two paragraphs really put into words what I'm trying to teach them. The highlighted text are things I strongly believe in.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">First of all, I know <b>we talk all the time about how special your bodies are, and how you're the only one who gets to decide what to do with your body</b>.<b> I've never made</b> you put anything in your mouth that you didn't want to, or <b>touch anyone you didn't want to, or talk to anyone you didn't want to, because I wanted you to understand that you and you alone control your boundaries.</b> We worked on blowing a kiss so you could show that you liked someone without having to touch them, and high fives if you were ok touching them but only with your hand.<b> We talked all the time about not letting people tell you that what you wanted was wrong or that they knew better, and that you should always always tell your dad </b>or grandma<b> or me if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable.</b></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And we talk all the time about making sure that if you're touching someone else that they want you to be touching them. <b>That if they say "No" you have to stop right away</b> (even if it's just fake-punching your brother) and that even if they aren't saying "No" you need to make sure they're still enjoying it. <b>You know how sometimes you like to be tickled and sometimes you don't? Well, everyone's like that, so even if they liked it when you did it yesterday, you should still make sure they really want you to today, whatever kind of touching it is</b>."</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm trying my best to raise these boys into respectful adults who have enough smarts to know when something doesn't feel right and the courage to tell their parents, knowing that we will always, ALWAYS believe them and try our hardest to protect them. I think so many times we, as a society, try to teach our kids to listen to adults and respect and trust adults and other kids that kids stop listening to themselves......and I promise my boys this, if anyone EVER hurts them, touches them or tries to get them to keep a secret, they will have me to contend with and no one.....NO ONE wants Mama Bear to come out!</span></div>
Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-79751773789930243642013-03-17T18:38:00.001-07:002013-03-17T18:38:13.445-07:00Sick KidsThe boys have been sick......like visit the ER sick. Started last Saturday, both boys fevered. Adrien fevered for three days, Ryan for a few hours. On Sunday, Adrien complained of pain in his sides. I'm not normally a panicky mom (after my friends talk me off the ledge) but my gut was telling me something wasn't right and hubby was telling me the boy was fine. So I brought Adrien into the ER on Sunday night, thinking it was his appendix. We were triaged as a 2 because his oxygen was border line low. I panicked.....I asked the nurse what her concern was, she responded pneumonia....We were in and out of x-ray an hour later. Turned out Adrien had the beginning of a chest infection. I immediately asked the doctor if it was contagious cause I knew Ryan would be next. As we were leaving, I said to the doctor, I'll see you here next week with my other boy...... Sure enough, last night Ryan was having a hard time sleeping. As I cradled him in the early hours of the morning, I noticed his breathing was off. Hubby wasn't too concerned, thinking it was just some mucus congestion as Ryan had been coughing and had a runny nose.......as I sat there rocking my baby and I knew something wasn't right. As I had friends over for the weekend, hubby brought Ryan to the ER. We texted each other, joking about the wait time and how tired Ryan was. Hubby shared that his temperature was 40.2 (104) and he was going for a chest xray....and I knew....I knew Ryan had pneumonia, two hours later I got another text confirming my fear and stating that the doctor wanted to watch Ryan's vitals for a couple of hours before sending him home due to the high fever. They came home at 5:30 in the morning. Ryan nuzzled into me a slept soundly for a few hours (there was too much technology at the hospital for Ryan to look at rather than sleep)......In the middle of today, as I was tucked into the air mattress with either boy securely embraced in my arms did I reflect on how I was feeling the night before. What that gut feeling was? How I just knew something wasn't right with Ryan? How I could possibly be so connected to these two boys who call me mama though weren't of my body? How I could be the luckiest person in the world to be able to call these children my sons.<br />
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<br />Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535390837984622261.post-69769539629507041142013-03-11T16:43:00.000-07:002013-03-17T18:38:24.495-07:00March Break .......<br />
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March Break is suppose to be a fun time for families with school aged kids to get away and do stuff.</div>
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Saturday morning, Adrien went to karate and after spiked a fever.....and complained of a stomach ache. When given Advil and Tylenol, he was fine.....as soon as it would wear off, the fever would come back. Sunday evening he fell asleep on me and was burning up....when he woke, he told me his sides hurt....so I took him in.....so glad I did.....his O2 levels were low and his heart rate was accelerated.....turns out he has the start of a chest infection.....now on meds! The doctor said that if his symptoms changed to bring him back......so he started vomiting over night.....so I brought him back in......and he also has a gastro bug......</div>
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Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06166424557568684244noreply@blogger.com0