He's going to be 5

My baby is going to be 5 on Saturday......I'm torn......mourning the baby that made me a mom, so proud of the big boy he's become......Mission Camping Birthday Party is under way......things are coming together and getting done.....pictures to follow

Four Years Ago

It was four years ago today that I got the call that I was a mother......after 35 years (I believe I wanted to be a mom from the minute I was born)....after years of IVF......after years of expenses.......after years of anger, hurt and sadness.......I was a mother.  The thought of opening the door and seeing those blue eyes so excited to me makes me speed the whole way home. The thought of being cuddled in the middle of the night no longer upsets me when it's him.....The thought of his little fingers wrapping themselves around my fingers make my heart swell with the amount of trust he has in me. The thought of his face lightening up makes me melt.........And though we are not blood, he is my son......he has soooo many of my mannerisms, my expressions....my words........he is my son.....and I love him (and his brother) more than anything and anyone on this earth......and I would move mountains for him.

May 2012...at the beach

June 2012.....City Hall Splash Pad

July 2012.....Canada Day party

August 2012.....I'm a big brother

September 2012.....First day of school

October 2012......Thanksgiving

November 2012.....growing so fast....his Movember attempt

December 2012, Christmas Cheer

January 2013, Our Preformer

February 2013, shooting darts at Mommy

March 2013.....Dancing Madness

April 2013.....Cousin's First Communion

May 2013....Roasting Marshmellows at Nonno's

life

life seems to be settling a bit.....we did get some more information about Ryan from a Dr, a provisional diagnosis of sorts, which sent me into a tail spin....but I'm taking it with a grain of salt......I am calling a case sharing so that the social workers know what we're are really going through and will be inviting the SLP, the OT, Infant development and the attachment therapist....we will work through this and Ryan will have the best life possible.....because he is worth the fight..I will never give up on him....he is my son.....he is my life

Telling me he needs a helmet cause he wants to ride his bike