"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break." -Chinese Proverb



18.3.13

They are special

A Letter to My Sons About Stopping Rape
I came across this article on Facebook.....the woman writing the article has hit on so many important point that I agree with and have been trying to raise my boys by.  Though the topic is stopping rape, a lot of her teachings coincide with my beliefs and how I'm trying to raise my boys. Hubby and I argue about the points....my dad and relatives make snide remarks to my kids.....but I don't care.....what I'm teaching them is so much more important...... These two paragraphs really put into words what I'm trying to teach them.  The highlighted text are things I strongly believe in.
"First of all, I know we talk all the time about how special your bodies are, and how you're the only one who gets to decide what to do with your body. I've never made you put anything in your mouth that you didn't want to, or touch anyone you didn't want to, or talk to anyone you didn't want to, because I wanted you to understand that you and you alone control your boundaries. We worked on blowing a kiss so you could show that you liked someone without having to touch them, and high fives if you were ok touching them but only with your hand. We talked all the time about not letting people tell you that what you wanted was wrong or that they knew better, and that you should always always tell your dad or grandma or me if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable.
And we talk all the time about making sure that if you're touching someone else that they want you to be touching them. That if they say "No" you have to stop right away (even if it's just fake-punching your brother) and that even if they aren't saying "No" you need to make sure they're still enjoying it. You know how sometimes you like to be tickled and sometimes you don't? Well, everyone's like that, so even if they liked it when you did it yesterday, you should still make sure they really want you to today, whatever kind of touching it is."
I'm trying my best to raise these boys into respectful adults who have enough smarts to know when something doesn't feel right and the courage to tell their parents, knowing that we will always, ALWAYS believe them and try our hardest to protect them. I think so many times we, as a society, try to teach our kids to listen to adults and respect and trust adults and other kids that kids stop listening to themselves......and I promise my boys this, if anyone EVER hurts them, touches them or tries to get them to keep a secret, they will have me to contend with and no one.....NO ONE wants Mama Bear to come out!

1 comment:

  1. great points. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete