"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break." -Chinese Proverb


Not so Wordless Wednesday

I had a friend come and visit.......we got chatting about her BIL and SIL who adopted a 2 year old and are waiting for the baby sibling to join. My friend shared some concerns with me about the new family, mainly with how vocal her BIL is being with his lack of attachment and affection towards their 2 year. The conversation very quickly put me on my own roller coaster ride of memories and feeling.

I remember the first day we met Adrien, I thought he was cute and sweet but felt NO connection to him (I know it's normal but it didn't feel good). The next day we visited again, again I felt like I held back and watched MY child call someone else mom....be comforted by her, love her how he was suppose to love me. The next day was Sunday and we did not visit. I had a VERY emotional day....I didn't think I wanted to be him mom, I wanted to call the S.W and call the whole thing off...I didn't want to do it anymore. That night I cried and screamed, with an anguish that I can't explain. I didn't feel connected to him.... and I remember D (foster mom) asking me if it was hard to leave him there. I lied to her, I said yes.....but in reality I couldn't get away fast enough...he didn't love, how could he, he didn't even know me. That Sunday night, I remember sitting on the stairs crying as Rob reassured me that it would all be ok.... That night we made some pretty important decisions around raising Adrien and helping him transition. We decided that I would be the primary caregiver, that we would nurture and encourage his attachment with me before getting him to attach to Rob. We felt it was important because we would be his third home and needed him to feel secure. Though I LOVED this idea, it did impact Rob hard. For months, Adrien only wanted me and would cry for me if I wasn't there...if was hard on Rob because he felt rejected, you could see it in his face. Another hard thing for me was looking at Adrien......for MONTHS, when I looked at him all I could see was ADOPTION....I would ask Rob, my sister, my SIL, my mom, my dad....what did they see when they looked at him....they always responded they saw him. So I thought something was wrong with me.... I found myself explaining to every body in the beginning that he was adopted, as if I needed to justify something. That's gone now....in fact, it's been gone for a while now and all I see is love. When I shared that part with my friend, she jumped out of her seat and exclaimed "YES, that's what my brother in law says, that he sees no part of him in her and all he sees is adoption" I laughed at her statement, because though Adrien doesn't look like me, I see myself in him ALL THE TIME....his actions, his tones, his expressions, his snort of a laugh.....it's me and Rob......he is soaking us up....but it really truly does take time.....the year that the "experts" are talking about seems to be accurate.....and I wonder how it will change for baby number 2....I wonder if age has something to do with it....I just have questions......Anyways, I know my friend is concerned about her family members but I think it'll just take time..... and she was going to put a care package together and she was looking for ideas.... I suggested things that would encourage them to be together as a family.... all suggestions welcomed!



So I am a heavy set woman who struggles with her weight, I have PCOS which contributes to the weight issues. My husband is a LARGE man, he is an emotional eater and finds great comfort in food.
We both worry about our son, one of the worst things (to us) is to be heavy, the stigma's, the lack of inclusion, possible target for bully never mind ALL the health related issues.
When Adrien first came home, I was worried about him being thin (though I coming to realize that that is his natural body type) and would force him the first bite of anything I was offering him, after he tried a bite, if he further refused, he didn't have to eat it. I have TOTALLY gotten over myself and that tendency has LONG stopped.... I have come to realize that though he may not eat a ton at a seating, he eats frequently through out the day. He loves food. And not junk stuff like Mc.Donalds (don't get me wrong, throw down some french fries and a hamburger, the kid goes silly) he likes "real" food..... good, tasty, healthy food. He LOVES pasta.....almost all forms of it with any kind of sauce, including Zia's broccoli sauce. He LOVES fruits and veggies, eating things that adults refuse to, he loves corn, broccoli, zucchini, carrots, cauliflower, tomatoes, cucumbers, spinach, lettuce....and will try anything I offer him. He will choose fruit over any kind of sweet except ice cream and don't get me started on meat ...on Father's Day, he ate a medium rare steak, crab legs and 3 corn on the cobs....of course he was running around and playing the whole time so he needed the energy. My goal, as his mom, is to keep up with healthy food for him, physical activity and laughing...... I think that's how you grow a healthy kid....what do you think?


We leave soon for our longest family vacation EVER.....we are going to the east coast for a very extended period of time. Not only are we going there, we are driving there with a 2 year old. Our destination is over 1600 km aways (also known as 995 miles!) In total, it should take us 18 hours... but with a 2 year old who knows how long it'll be. We are planning (PLANNING) to leave at 3am...I hoping to get the boy to sleep for a few hours in the car before he wakes up.....this way we will get about 400 km done before he is even awake..... then we will be stopping in Montreal to have breakfast with a friend and her daughter (I think her husband is working) then back on the road. OMG I am finding that I am having to really psyche myself up for this. 1600 km with my husband and kid..... here's to hoping for great weather and great moods..... and safe travels.

Then, when we get there, we will be greeted by hubby's extended family....I am so excited to see them, we had a fabulous time with them last year that we have been looking forward to return all year!

NEW BRUNSWICK here we come!



Adrien has been loving the phone lately......... his 7 year old cousin, S, will no longer talk to me on the phone but instantly requests to talk to Adrien after her sisters have spoken to me on the phone. Today was no exception....except when she was done talking to Adrien, she told me that they had talked about adoption at school.... and the different reasons that people adopt. I asked her what she learned, she said that when a mom wasn't ready to be a mom, someone could adopt the baby....but she said she already knew that because of Adrien. She shared that she had talked to her class about her cousin being adopted and that his name was Adrien. I was so proud of her, there is no shame attached to adoption in her eyes, to her, it's how she got her little cousin that she loves so much. The thing that blows me away is that she's in grade 1.....and they are already talking about adoption....growing up adoption was kept secret, private as if something was wrong with it. I didn't want that for my children and I started talking to my nieces and nephews about adoption before we even had Adrien. The older ones get it......I love that about them!


Amazing Weekend Away

We went to the Strong's National Children's Museum of Play in Rochester, NY......it was FANTASTIC.....I loved it, hubby loved it and the boy loved it. there are so many different things for everyone to do. Upon entering, guests are greeted with a carousel and gift shop. The gift shop was amazing, having tons of toys, new and old school. After you pay to get in (for the three of us, it was $31 and FREE parking) you are welcomed with an aquarium.
The colours in the aquarium are fabulous. It is the typical salt water aquarium that mesmorized Adrien for about 10 minutes. That's a HUGE feat when you're 2!
Getting into one part of the museum, you walk into Sesame Street. Adrien spent a lot of time playing on the steps of 123 Sesame. He LOVED it. Oscar's can was there, but he went fishing with Slimey. He would ring the door bell and knock on the door.!
Elmo's world is also replicated at the Museum.....it has his computer, his bed, his blanket, his goldfish and his window shade that gets to Mr. Noodle.
Adrien punched into work, hoping he wouldn't be late.....he's so funny!
Wegman's Grocery store has fashioned a grocery store after a real one, with carts, cashier belts and manager station. Adrien LOVED going up and down the isles picking up groceries he wanted. Behind the grocery store, was a kid's TV station where kids could do the weather or a cooking show....AMAZING, I know!
There is a train, that of course we had to go on! I think he liked it a bit!
So much to see and do there, from the stage that kids can perform on to the rock pit that kids can dig through.
There are SO many things to see there.....Adventure Reading Land, Marvel Comics, Butterfly Conservatory, Mind Benders, Adventure Play Land!
There is a toy museum on the upper level displaying toys dating back over 100 years! And retro toys that can be played with. Adrien and I had fun dancing at the funky lights!
And there was Bernstein Bears Country.....I can't even do the place justice with my words......it's a place that has to be experienced to be appreciated.....It really is a place where play is encouraged and seen as a way of learning!

Check out the website..... http://www.museumofplay.org/


Strong's National Museum of Play

This weekend the family and I are going to Rochester, NY to the Strong's National Museum of Play. It is somewhere I have wanted to take Adrien since he came home and decided this would be the weekend to just do it....check it out....it looks crazy fun! We will be spending all day Saturday there....hopefully, he will enjoy it! Pictures to come upon our return!

The boy is going to love Sesame Street and we are going to love the rest. It is a hands on learning environment.....Rob came home from work last night and found everything packed.....he laughed as he looked at me knowing how excited I was to go!