"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break." -Chinese Proverb



29.11.12

My brothers are amazing.  As kids we may not have always gotten along, but as adults I have a great relationship with them.  What I'm enjoying now is watching them create relationships with my boys.  My oldest younger brother teaches the boys about stuff around the house, explains concepts with them and plays with them.  My youngest brother is more of the playboy type, lots of girls, motorcycles, big dog....and music......it's all about the music for Zio (Italian for Uncle) and Adrien, with the turn tables, flashing lights, big speakers.......
Today, my grandmother had a tumor removed so I went to see her.  Then we went to visit my brother...and the boys bonded over music....
L.O.V.E

23.11.12

Life

Life is going.....filled with appointments, playdates, meetings...etc......but at the end of the day, it's about my boys....all three of them.....
As today is a PD for Adrien, we were able to play and have fun while Ryan was napping.






18.11.12

Birthdays

We had a family birthday party for Ryan yesterday and loved the full house of family and a few close friends.  We played, opened presents and ate cake.
Ryan had a smashing time!

And today, while Ryan is napping, Adrien is making his birthday list of people he wants to come.  So cute....
making his list



15.11.12

6 things a child needs to hear

I found this on a blog that I follow......that blogger found the saying on a poster......I love it and will work hard in saying/doing this with my kids.‎

6 things a child needs to hear everyday:
I believe in you
I trust you
I know you can handle this
You are listened to
You are cared for
You are very important to me

14.11.12

Dear Greats

We had such a beautiful visit last night, it's what we look forward from the time the visit is set until we are enveloped into your arms.  Adrien comes alive in your presence and is so happy being with you both.  For that, I am so grateful.....our visit was exactly what he needed.....to remember where he came from to feel comfortable where he belongs.  Hubby and I seem consumed in this transition with Ryan and we are worried about how Ryan is doing that sometimes we don't see how this transition has affected Adrien.  It came out in his words, wanting to move back with you.......I think he wasn't able to tell us what was going on for him....reconnecting with you has done him a world of good.....and now we will bask in the glow of love that you both exude.
Thank you doesn't seem enough in what you do for Adrien and our family......From the bottom of our hearts, thank you so much for loving him and us........You make us better people and we blossom in your love.  Thank you.

9.11.12

Pinterest

I have a love hate relationship with Pinterest, I love the stuff that is posted and would love to make them but hate that I forget to do them.  I was going through all my "pins" the other day and came across an idea that I loved.....so I decided that it HAD to be made....though it's not perfect, I think it turned out fabulously.

It is proudly hanging in our family room.....I think I will make this every other year to see how the hands grow!


8.11.12

Fire Truck

I was forwarded a web site from my friend.....it's a do it yourself home decor site by an American woman located in Alaska.....she is amazing! I have been looking through her blog as I would LOVE the boys to have bunk beds...though I haven't found anything in stores that I  think is "safe" for my kids. I'm not a fan of ladders....they scare me....I want a bed that has the stairs that go up to the second bunk.  Looking through her site, I have found bunk beds that I love.....the one the boys love is a Fire Truck and though it is a loft bed, I think with a few modifications, it would work as a bunk..... I plan to do this project over the summer.....hopefully, I will have some friends who are willing to lend a hand!

7.11.12

Asking for Help

So......after a heart felt talk with hubby, we have decided to ask for help from the social worker.  She came today.....we asked for help....and got some....was it what we were looking for? Not 100% but it's better than nothing.  YAY!!!
As for other services, we have regular SLP sessions, we have booked an OT assessment with a private provider.....we have an assessment with Infant Development, we have a consult with an ophthalmologist, we have a hearing test tomorrow and a referral for a sleep assessment.  Why so many tests and appointments?  To rule everything out and to ensure that we have the best proactive strategies in place to help Ryan reach his potential to ensure his best quality of life.  This child is so clever...and is trying to over come so many things.  i need to be more patient and understanding....I need to remember that he's only been here for 8 weeks (already, I know!) and that he has almost two years of history that needs to be rewritten.
We know for sure he has an oral motor delay, that is being addressed by the SLP.  He has sensory processing issues, that will be addressed by the OT.  He has sight issues that could hinder how he interprets his environment so we are seeing an eye specialist in a big city.  He has some behavioural issues and when the social worker saw him today shared that he reminder he of another client and it turned out that child wasn't getting enough REM sleep so we have booked a sleep study assessment for him..... so many things to do.....but in the end, it's all for him, because he deserves the best...... and though frustrated at times, we love him so much.

2.11.12

Rough

Things have been difficult the last few days with Ryan.  It seems like we get a stretch of good days (2 steps forward) then a few hard days (one step back).  We have had visitors and he has been hitting kids, he cries/whines from the time he wakes up until he goes to sleep.  He's trying to get into everything, take everything from Adrien and just over all unsettled.  I'm coming to terms with the fact that there is a very real possibility that he has a form of Sensory Processing Disorder and have been reading book upon book (though I know about SPD for work, it's different when it's at home) and have found exercises and strategies to help him learn to integrate his senses.  He's slowly coming along with his speech and is very very quick to learn new signs and use them unprompted, though he needs a lot of modeling for the words, which makes sense as he has an oral motor delay, that can be directly related to SPD.  We continue to go forward and keep working with him, he is  very very clever child and learns best through observation.  He is an endearing child who hubby and I continue to fall more and more in love with each day.  Sometimes though, the challenges are overwhelming and I just want to cry.
Adrien seems to be doing ok though he stated that when he grew up he would be moving back in with Grandma and Grandpa Great.  Though this broke our heart, we realize he is just trying to figure out where he belongs and his identity as a person in our family, community and society.  Since starting school, he has matured so much.....he is no longer a preschooler and definitely a little boy, with independent original thoughts.  Though we had it easy with him as a baby until now, I have a sneaking suspicion that parenting him could become more challenging as he is very persuasive and logically in his arguments  in why  he should be allowed to do or have something.  I just want to eat him up when he uses big kid words like impossible and appropriate.
Lots of great things happening around here along with some things that need to be taught and redirected.....but it all makes it worth it when the boys love on each other and on us.



also..... www.adrienandryan.blogspot.com has gone private.  If you would like to be added to the list, please comment with your email address.

26.10.12

Excitment for the day



So yesterday I had to drive with hubby to a hospital in a nearby big city to see a specialist. We got a yellow to red light so I stopped, first one at the line. I look ahead of me and I see a van slanted on the road stopped by a pole. Hubby didn't notice....as I was looking, one cop car arrived and two bike cops came, throwing their bikes on the road (in my way) As I'm telling hubby that I don't think I'll be able to so straight when the light turns green, a cop jumps off his bike, pulls his gun (at this point I'm freaking out as I have my baby with us too) and pulls the driver out....Throws him to the ground and cuffs him (ALL THIS WHILE THE LIGHT IS RED) As the light turns green, three more cop cars show up and I decide to turn right and we go on our merry way. I found this today as I was looking to see what had h
appened!


Dangerous Driving / Assault Police
On October 25th, 2012 at approximately 10:30 a.m., HPS ACTION officers on patrol bikes observed a male in a van on James St. near Cannon St. The male was known to police as being a suspended driver. HPS attempted to stop the van and the officers were forced to jump out of the way of the van as the driver made no attempt to stop and drove at the officers. The van continued to drive away at a high rate of speed and in a dangerous manner, driving the wrong way on one-way streets and going through red lights. The van crashed into a pole on Wilson St. at John St. The driver was arrested and held for a bail hearing. Nobody was injured in this incident.

Talk about exictment!

SLP

We started with the Speech and Language Pathologist(SLP) for Ryan yesterday.  She came for an assessment.....the first thing that I'm excited about is that she believes Ryan has an oral motor delay, not an oral motor disorder.  The difference is that a disorder is life long where a delay can be caught up.  She also believes that he's saying a lot more than we can understand.  She gave us some ideas and strategies to help his language come along.  It was amazing....and I feel hopefully for him!  I am also reading a couple of books to help me understand Sensory Processing difficulties a little better....Things are coming together for the little man and I'm so excited about it!

23.10.12

Life

It has been a crazy couple of weeks for me and my family.  My mom came up to meet Ryan and see her other grandkids and was planning to stay for about 10 days.  We went to the cottage with her and my brother's family and when we came home my grandmother was complaining of pain.  She went to the doctors and he immediately sent her to the hospital.  Long story short, she is suffering from kidney cancer where her right kidney is totally dead.  My grandmother has a long history of renal failure and now she has to have the kidney removed and actually start dialysis (like they thought 15 years ago).  And once she was admitted, the drama started.  She would have ok days and then Friday night, the family was called to the hospital.  Thankfully, she pulled through but now we wait on pins and needles for the surgery date to be announced while my mom spends every waking moment there.  She seems to be feeling better today and they are hoping to do surgery on Friday.
On Saturday, we had a surprise party for my mom's 60th, though her birthday isn't until December.  It was fun and she enjoyed it....it was under the guise of a surprise shower for Ryan so she was totally snowed.
We met Ryan's birth mom last Thursday.....she seems like a nice kid...and hopefully we will be able to build a good relationship for Ryan.
My sister also came up last Friday so the boys have been submerged with cousins....though Ryan is thrown off of his schedule....we are trying to get things back on track.
Also, hubby and I celebrated our 11 year anniversary over the weekend.  I can't believe we've been married that long!
So, things have been quiet from me as I've been tending to my family and their needs....I haven't spoken to friends in days and feel so disconnected.  Hopefully, things will settle sooner than later!

Brothers

Meeting birth mom

Cousin play

lol

My mom and all the grandkids.....

16.10.12

15.10.12

Quiet

I have been quiet around the blog world lately.....things have been busy....good though busy.  We spent a weekend at a cottage....for pictures, visit www.adrienandryan.blogspot.com .  On another note, after watching a "Say Yes to the Dress" marathon on TLC, I decided to dig out my wedding dress.  To my utter amazement....it fit!  Wanna see the proof?  OK!
Our wedding day.....soon to be celebrating 11 years!

Taken on October 10, 2012!

8.10.12

Our New Normal

We've had a massive, life changing breakthrough as a family......and life is good.....people are happy and we have lots of laughter in our home....I know it's not as good as it's going to get but it's a million times better than it was!

3.10.12

Better

Things around here are getting better.....Ryan seems much happier....trying to talk lots and listening well to redirection...Hubby thinks he may have been ill and just really not feeling well.  I'm doing better.....happier....

2.10.12

Underneath it all

The last couple of days have been rough, and I'd like to thank my friends for their outpouring of support through this time. When I get stressed, I start to listen to music....it seems to help me....last night, after the boys had come to bed, I put on my iTunes and was just laying there listening to songs.  A song came on, Underneath it All by No Doubt.  And the chorus really really hit home for me.....at first, when I was listening to it, I just stopped...though it's meant to be sung to a lover, there were words in it that rung true for me... He is really lovey....underneath is all, he wants to love me underneath it all but how can he trust me, that if he does love me, I won't leave or have him taken away like he has been so many times in his little life....I'm really lucky, underneath is all,  to have him in my life, he's amazing.....and I kept playing the song as tears streamed down my face.....and then my brain flipped, and suddenly I was listening to the song as if Ryan was telling me......and I couldn't control the tears or the sobs....(now as I write, I'm tearing up)....Enough emotion for one day...After a few minutes that felt like hours of letting all my frustrations at what I see as my incompetence and sadness for Ryan and what he's been through before coming home, I walked over to the crib....picked up my sleeping baby and just rocked him....as I tried to sing the words to him....I put him back down and went to sleep.  This morning, I felt different....felt like we could do this....Ryan and I, we are going to make this work, I'm going to let him know and feel the love and the permanency of our family and how much we cherish and adore him.  So far, today has been a much better day....and it's only going to get better....



(I've taken out the lyric that I don't feel fit.....the rest, I think fits)
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lucky
Underneath it all
You're really lovely 


You know some real bad tricks
And you need some discipline
But, lately you've been trying real hard
And giving me your best

And when it's really bad
I guess it's not that bad 

So many moons that we have seen
Stumbling back next to me
I've seen right through and underneath
And you make me better
I've seen right through and underneath
And you make me better
Better better

Sarah Blackwood doing a cover of Underneath it all by No Doubt

1.10.12

Hard

Normally when I write my blog, I try to keep everything sunshine, rainbows and unicorns....I'm struggling.....with this transition.....Ryan is struggling.....(as to be expected) and I know that in a month I will look back on this entry and laugh because everything will have settled down by then....I'm frustrated....and though I love this little man, I need a break from him, he's extremely needy and whiny.....and I'm not used to that...I can't listen to him cry anymore....if feels like that's all he does....it's frustrating because I see the potential in him, he's so smart, so funny, so loving......and when it's good, it's good...but the last couple of days have been rough.  I think he realizes this might be long term.....and he doesn't get his way like he used to at his former placement.....we have rules and expectations and he's fighting them....this too shall pass....but I'm filled with guilt for feeling this way....and I hate it.....he's just a baby who has been through so much in this little short life.....I need to find the strength to be more patient, more supportive, more  understanding......I need to dig deep in and just do it.....I owe it to him....he's just a baby......and he's going to be with us for a very long time (forever).....Just a little bump in the road....temporary.....it will get so much better.....I know that to have success and progress, I need to take two steps forward and expect one backwards.....it just feels like a down hill slide right now.....
I just went to look at him...he's a sleep.....and looks so beautiful that my heart skipped a beat (my pacemaker won't actually let that happen anymore, but you know what I mean)....I do love him, heart and soul......and this too will pass......

27.9.12

Phone Photo Dump

I have more Phone Photo Dumps at www.adrienandryan.blogspot.com  Sorry, I don't know to link apparently...(LOL)
Monkey fell off bed...waiting at ER to be seen (he's fine)

He looks so unimpressed....oh boy

Cuddles

STOP TAKING PICTURES OF ME

Trying to love being at home

Me and my eldest niece....love her

Meeting my cousin's boy....they are 4 months apart....we are in trouble

26.9.12

O' Canada

The boy is learning  lot  in JK....his imagination has exploded....his awareness has increased.....he's learning so much at school....I was worried about him, but he's a strong kid....he's matured.....today....on a 30 minutes drive, he must of sang this versus 168 times!!!
video

23.9.12

Fall Photos 2012

I married a wonderful man who is a talented photographer.....today I voluntold him that he would be taking pictures of our children....at the local jail....today.....like in 5 minutes....lol the files are HUGE so I only uploaded three of my favourite pictures



to see my "less than" professional pictures... look at www.adrienandryan.blogspot.com

22.9.12

Rough Day

Today was interesting.....it started off really great......ok, some background....Ryan is having difficulty following redirection, can be whiny and cries a lot.  I understand that this transition is difficult for him and for the rest of the family, including me.....I know that Ryan is trying to figure it out....he doesn't let me out of his sight, he follows me around or always wants to be in my arms.....(PLEASE NOTE: I'm not complaining....and I understand what this little man must be feeling and I KNOW this is hard for him). I'm sharing our rough day because I believe we had a break through...it was small, but it was there....at around 3, he started what can be described as a "hyper" behaviour, where he runs around the house, picking up things and throwing them everywhere.....throwing his body on the ground, hitting Adrien or hubby, squealing and not easy to redirect.  I could see hubby was ready to lose his patience...and this is a man who has the patience of a saint, he has to, to put up with me! lol....(rewind to yesterday, I spent about 30 minutes teaching Ryan some signs, including down, milk and all done) I picked him up and he started to cry, so I cradled him in my arms.....he continued to cry (I have witnessed in other environments with other people, that when he would cry, he was given what he wanted)....I began whispering in his ear that he was safe....and when he was done crying I would put him down.  Adrien didn't like seeing his brother cry and Adrien tried to comfort his brother.  I didn't think it was fair to Adrien to see his brother upset so I took Ryan upstairs to his room, where I continued to cradle and rock him while he cried and sobbed.  I needed to show him that no matter how bad or sad he was, I would always be there to love him, to take care of him.  After a VERY long while, he finally quieted.....I hugged and kissed him and let him go.  He immediately turned back to me, with his arms wide open and placed his head on my shoulder.....My heart soared for him....we held each other for a couple of minutes...when he let go of me, he had a huge smile on his face and signed down......so we headed downstairs.....both of us, a little bit different for what we had just shared and a little bit more in love with each other.  I know it's going to be a long road for us, until he feels totally secure and safe and bonded with us....but I think it started today....