"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break." -Chinese Proverb


Excitment for the day

So yesterday I had to drive with hubby to a hospital in a nearby big city to see a specialist. We got a yellow to red light so I stopped, first one at the line. I look ahead of me and I see a van slanted on the road stopped by a pole. Hubby didn't notice....as I was looking, one cop car arrived and two bike cops came, throwing their bikes on the road (in my way) As I'm telling hubby that I don't think I'll be able to so straight when the light turns green, a cop jumps off his bike, pulls his gun (at this point I'm freaking out as I have my baby with us too) and pulls the driver out....Throws him to the ground and cuffs him (ALL THIS WHILE THE LIGHT IS RED) As the light turns green, three more cop cars show up and I decide to turn right and we go on our merry way. I found this today as I was looking to see what had h

Dangerous Driving / Assault Police
On October 25th, 2012 at approximately 10:30 a.m., HPS ACTION officers on patrol bikes observed a male in a van on James St. near Cannon St. The male was known to police as being a suspended driver. HPS attempted to stop the van and the officers were forced to jump out of the way of the van as the driver made no attempt to stop and drove at the officers. The van continued to drive away at a high rate of speed and in a dangerous manner, driving the wrong way on one-way streets and going through red lights. The van crashed into a pole on Wilson St. at John St. The driver was arrested and held for a bail hearing. Nobody was injured in this incident.

Talk about exictment!


We started with the Speech and Language Pathologist(SLP) for Ryan yesterday.  She came for an assessment.....the first thing that I'm excited about is that she believes Ryan has an oral motor delay, not an oral motor disorder.  The difference is that a disorder is life long where a delay can be caught up.  She also believes that he's saying a lot more than we can understand.  She gave us some ideas and strategies to help his language come along.  It was amazing....and I feel hopefully for him!  I am also reading a couple of books to help me understand Sensory Processing difficulties a little better....Things are coming together for the little man and I'm so excited about it!



It has been a crazy couple of weeks for me and my family.  My mom came up to meet Ryan and see her other grandkids and was planning to stay for about 10 days.  We went to the cottage with her and my brother's family and when we came home my grandmother was complaining of pain.  She went to the doctors and he immediately sent her to the hospital.  Long story short, she is suffering from kidney cancer where her right kidney is totally dead.  My grandmother has a long history of renal failure and now she has to have the kidney removed and actually start dialysis (like they thought 15 years ago).  And once she was admitted, the drama started.  She would have ok days and then Friday night, the family was called to the hospital.  Thankfully, she pulled through but now we wait on pins and needles for the surgery date to be announced while my mom spends every waking moment there.  She seems to be feeling better today and they are hoping to do surgery on Friday.
On Saturday, we had a surprise party for my mom's 60th, though her birthday isn't until December.  It was fun and she enjoyed it....it was under the guise of a surprise shower for Ryan so she was totally snowed.
We met Ryan's birth mom last Thursday.....she seems like a nice kid...and hopefully we will be able to build a good relationship for Ryan.
My sister also came up last Friday so the boys have been submerged with cousins....though Ryan is thrown off of his schedule....we are trying to get things back on track.
Also, hubby and I celebrated our 11 year anniversary over the weekend.  I can't believe we've been married that long!
So, things have been quiet from me as I've been tending to my family and their needs....I haven't spoken to friends in days and feel so disconnected.  Hopefully, things will settle sooner than later!


Meeting birth mom

Cousin play


My mom and all the grandkids.....




I have been quiet around the blog world lately.....things have been busy....good though busy.  We spent a weekend at a cottage....for pictures, visit www.adrienandryan.blogspot.com .  On another note, after watching a "Say Yes to the Dress" marathon on TLC, I decided to dig out my wedding dress.  To my utter amazement....it fit!  Wanna see the proof?  OK!
Our wedding day.....soon to be celebrating 11 years!

Taken on October 10, 2012!


Our New Normal

We've had a massive, life changing breakthrough as a family......and life is good.....people are happy and we have lots of laughter in our home....I know it's not as good as it's going to get but it's a million times better than it was!



Things around here are getting better.....Ryan seems much happier....trying to talk lots and listening well to redirection...Hubby thinks he may have been ill and just really not feeling well.  I'm doing better.....happier....


Underneath it all

The last couple of days have been rough, and I'd like to thank my friends for their outpouring of support through this time. When I get stressed, I start to listen to music....it seems to help me....last night, after the boys had come to bed, I put on my iTunes and was just laying there listening to songs.  A song came on, Underneath it All by No Doubt.  And the chorus really really hit home for me.....at first, when I was listening to it, I just stopped...though it's meant to be sung to a lover, there were words in it that rung true for me... He is really lovey....underneath is all, he wants to love me underneath it all but how can he trust me, that if he does love me, I won't leave or have him taken away like he has been so many times in his little life....I'm really lucky, underneath is all,  to have him in my life, he's amazing.....and I kept playing the song as tears streamed down my face.....and then my brain flipped, and suddenly I was listening to the song as if Ryan was telling me......and I couldn't control the tears or the sobs....(now as I write, I'm tearing up)....Enough emotion for one day...After a few minutes that felt like hours of letting all my frustrations at what I see as my incompetence and sadness for Ryan and what he's been through before coming home, I walked over to the crib....picked up my sleeping baby and just rocked him....as I tried to sing the words to him....I put him back down and went to sleep.  This morning, I felt different....felt like we could do this....Ryan and I, we are going to make this work, I'm going to let him know and feel the love and the permanency of our family and how much we cherish and adore him.  So far, today has been a much better day....and it's only going to get better....

(I've taken out the lyric that I don't feel fit.....the rest, I think fits)
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lucky
Underneath it all
You're really lovely 

You know some real bad tricks
And you need some discipline
But, lately you've been trying real hard
And giving me your best

And when it's really bad
I guess it's not that bad 

So many moons that we have seen
Stumbling back next to me
I've seen right through and underneath
And you make me better
I've seen right through and underneath
And you make me better
Better better

Sarah Blackwood doing a cover of Underneath it all by No Doubt



Normally when I write my blog, I try to keep everything sunshine, rainbows and unicorns....I'm struggling.....with this transition.....Ryan is struggling.....(as to be expected) and I know that in a month I will look back on this entry and laugh because everything will have settled down by then....I'm frustrated....and though I love this little man, I need a break from him, he's extremely needy and whiny.....and I'm not used to that...I can't listen to him cry anymore....if feels like that's all he does....it's frustrating because I see the potential in him, he's so smart, so funny, so loving......and when it's good, it's good...but the last couple of days have been rough.  I think he realizes this might be long term.....and he doesn't get his way like he used to at his former placement.....we have rules and expectations and he's fighting them....this too shall pass....but I'm filled with guilt for feeling this way....and I hate it.....he's just a baby who has been through so much in this little short life.....I need to find the strength to be more patient, more supportive, more  understanding......I need to dig deep in and just do it.....I owe it to him....he's just a baby......and he's going to be with us for a very long time (forever).....Just a little bump in the road....temporary.....it will get so much better.....I know that to have success and progress, I need to take two steps forward and expect one backwards.....it just feels like a down hill slide right now.....
I just went to look at him...he's a sleep.....and looks so beautiful that my heart skipped a beat (my pacemaker won't actually let that happen anymore, but you know what I mean)....I do love him, heart and soul......and this too will pass......