"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break." -Chinese Proverb


Merry Christmas

Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas.......from our home to yours......


Adopted, like him

I know a woman. We have been sharing information about our personal lives. I confided that we had adopted, she confided that she and her spouse where going through infertility treatments, and that her spouse was adopted and he currently doesn't want to adopt. Whenever I meet adults (or spouses of adults) that were adopted, I always seem to have a hundred questions, because I want to know what it might be like for my son as he gets older. She shared with me that her spouse has reunited with his first mother and they have a good relationship. She also shared that they can not share their visits with his first mom with his adopted mom as his adopted mom feels threatened and doesn't want to know about the relationship. They will be spending Christmas with his first mom and haven't been able to tell his adoptive mom because it would hurt her too much. I pray, that when the time comes, Adrien will be able to share his relationship with his first mom and first family (if they reunite) and that I won't feel threatened by it. I have an aunt and uncle that adopted their two children and when she found out that we adopted Adrien, she celebrated the fact that his was a closed adoption and that we wouldn't have to worry about another family barging in (her words, not mine). She couldn't understand why I want an open adoption and constantly challenges me on thoughts. Infact, when my cousin found his birth parents, she made him pick..... his adoptive family (that in her words, gave him the world) or his first family..... He struggles daily with the choice he told her he made, maintained a close relationship with his birth father until his passing. Talking to him, he shares that he always feels like a piece of him was missing, he couldn't talk to anyone about being adopted while he was growing up and still has resentment towards it. I don't want Adrien to feel that way....EVER......no matter how I feel about it.....this adoption process started out as our desire to have a family and has morphed into giving Adrien all the security and love surrounding his adoption, no matter how I feel about it. He has a right to know where he comes from, who he looks like and knowing that though they couldn't care for him, they loved him.....Which brings me back to this woman.....she shared that her spouse's first family had a birthday party for him......at this party, all his first family was there, including siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. They gave him gifts.....gifts that they would have given him as he grew up from an infant on....on their cards, they indicated at what age they would have given him that gift, how old they would have been and things that he and that family member would have been doing. As she told me, I cried.....because the gesture was so heart warming and heart felt and because I can't comprehend the loss his first family felt or how he felt receiving those gifts. Knowing that they thought about him, wondered about him and always loved him.....I want that for Adrien....so badly.....


leading up to Christmas

Adrien has an Elf on the Shelf that joined our family three Christmas' ago. Though its fun to hide the elf in new spots, it gets boring for the grown up after a while so I thought I'd have some fun. Elfie scribbled all over Adrien's picture....and Adrien howled when he saw it!

I gave my nieces their Angry Bird hats.....I think they liked them!

This year, there won't be any Christmas cards going out....instead, I took a picture of the boy.....please consider it your Yuletide greeting card!


Dear Santa Letter

Dear Santa
This year I have made good choices. I have helped my mom and dad. I have cleaned up my toys, gone pee on the potty and have learned how to clean my body in the bath.
For Christmas, I would like some toys, maybe an airplane, skateboard like Gavin’s and some trucks to play inside with.
My mom and dad would LOVE a brother or a sister for me.
I look for Elfie every morning and I don’t touch the Christmas tree.
Love, Adrien


Angry Birds

For Christmas this year I crocheted each of my nieces and nephews hats. The 5 older kids are getting Angry Bird hats.....the baby is getting an Everything Rosie themed hat after her name.

It's funny, I'm so proud of these hats as I made them from stickers without a pattern....though I am more excited to see their reaction when they get them. Pictures with kids to follow!


PRIDE....we are done

we survived 9 sessions of PRIDE training......we get our certificate......will it make us better parents? maybe.....did it change my view on anything? no, not that I'm perfection, but I already had ideas around loss suffered, open adoptions and other things that we discussed.....was it a waste of my time? NO.....I met some geat people that I hope to see more of.....do I think there are HUGE flaws in our Child Welfare System? ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!!! And the people working there, who claim to be empathic and sympathic are sometimes the biggest hypocrites around. They are suppose to be the front line workers, they are suppose to protect these children with a mandate to keep families intact and it was the same workers who were disrespectful to their clients, talking about them and overgeneralizing them as druggies and alcholics with mental health issues...they don't know my son's story and I resent that they lump his mom in with the others (and if she's not the stereotype, that means that there are many others who also don't fit the stereotype)...the only worker that I found to be respectful of all parties involved was (thankfully) our case worker, her presentations were amazing and I loved how respectful she was while talking about sensitive and delicate topics.....I'm so glad it's done and over with.....and now we just wait for a call.....

Disney Cruise- last post, Misc Pictures

Disney Cruise- Day 7 Castaway Cay

We arrived at Castaway Cay at 9am.....the ship reversed into port giving us the best spot to see the island from our balcony......we got off the ship and ran into Donald Duck....it was the first time all week that we had seen him and got to take a picture with him.

A tram took us to the beach.....

At Mount RustMore we caught up with Pluto.......

.......and Goofy!

Once we found some chairs and an umbrella for hubby, Adrien and I headed to the water.....it was beautiful....I can't even describe how clear and clean the water was....was frolicked and swam and kicked and played until a fish swam by Adrien's foot....at which he screamed "A FISH" and ran out of the water.....I guess it never dawned on me to explain to him that fish lived in water....as he was so grossed out by how salty the water was!

He loved laying and swinging on the hammocks....just like at Nonno's house

The view from our verandah

Disney Cruise-Day 6 at sea

we spent the day playing in the water, at the splash pad, in the pool.....Hubby still wasn't feeling better and was grumpy from missing out on all the fun though the boy and I managed to have enough fun for him!

We walked around on Deck 4, checked out the store and ate!

Each day Adrien got to pick something he wanted out of the gift shop, nothing too expensive but a memento that he could have. One day he picked a Flounder, another day he picked a Mickey, then a Minnie, a t-shirt, a pin etc.... and my sister gave him a gift card for Christmas so that he could buy whatever he wanted (great ideas!!!! Thank you Seca!) Anyways, on day 6 he picked out a Peter Pan set with Captian Hook, Mr. Smee, Wendy and Tinkerbell. He played with that set the whole time I was getting ready for dinner, changing his voice and going on adventures! (side note, his favourite thing to do on the boat was go on adventures and explore!)

Dinners where tough, they were long and his food always came out with our apps......and then dessert would come out with ours.....so we started bringing things for him and our table mate to play with....he liked to pretend he was a waiter and would take our dinner orders...

That day, our British friends (P & M) started Adrien a Disney Pin collection, getting him the lanyard and a Mickey pin.....when it was all said and done, they had given him 3 pins....needless to say, he now has 6 and is well on his way to becoming a Disney Pin collector.....

It was an awesome......


Disney Cruise-Day 5 St Thomas

We awoke very early the next morning, in time to watch us port into St. Thomas. I was excited because I had a friend who was on another cruise that was also going to be in St. Thomas that day, so there was a mission for me to find her on the beach. The night before we also found out that we weren't going to have to "tender" to the island and that we would be docking at a different place. From my understanding "tendering" means water taxis have to take you off the boat and it is a long process. Anyways.....since hubby was still in a lot of pain, he choose to stay in bed (though very disappointed because he was missing all the fun!) and Adrien and I went to have breakfast on the back of deck 9 with a beautiful view of the water. After breakfast, (since it was only 7 and we weren't allowed off the boat until 9) we decided to hit the Mickey Pool

There was a single father in the pool with his three little boys (all older then Adrien)....and as the three boys tried to engage Adrien in shark chomping play, all he wanted to do (influnced from 4 nights of shows) was put on a show for them....so as they chomped around him, he yelled at the top of his voice "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please take your seat as the show is beginning......Introducing......ADRIEN" My heart soared with pride and from the joy on his face as he performed for these little guys and I know in my heart that this kid will be a performer of some sort.......I digress. At about 8:45, when his fingers had turned to raisins (side bar: on the second day hubby pointed out how pruned Adrien's fingers were from all the water play and kept calling his fingers raisins. Adrien didn't understand what was happening and was so upset that his fingers had turned into raisins that he would cry and beg for me to wipe the raisins off.....) a bolt of lightening lit up the sky, the thunder started and so did the downpour.....we high tailed it out of the pool and headed to the room to change and tell hubby about the excitement. We decided (Adrien and I) to explore the boat instead.

We went to the on board theater where Adrien watched his first movie (in theater) EVER....in 3-D....he loved Tangled, so well done!

Then we headed to the Promenade Lounge to do a craft, on the way there, you get to pass this awesome statue of Mickey at sea.....and we bumped into Peter Pan!

In the lounge, Adrien got to decorate a tote bag for him to keep (the previous day he made buttons, one for each of his cousins!)....he kept getting different colours and adding them to his bag.....it was quite the master piece and is now safely put away in his Disney Cruise treasure box in his closet!
The kid was so proud of his creation....he slung it on his shoulder for the world to see except the straps wouldn't stay on his shoulder so he put his hand to his head to keep the tote from sliding off. I thought it was the cutest thing ever and couldn't stop laughing!
As a family, we found a little "alley" of the boat on deck 3 called Beat Street. It was a cool place to hang out and we hung out there A LOT....They had these HUGE deep portholes that you could sit in and watch the water go by, read, relax and talk.....

Though before we made it to the porthole on Day 5, we snuck into this place (can't remember what it's called) they have show in here at night and do Bingo during the day. Anyways, we snuck in so the boy could do a quick little performance.....what a natural!

AHHHHHH, the portholes.....so peaceful and rest ful!

We took the front elevators and headed up to Deck 10.......we explored outside as the rain had stopped and we were getting hungry for lunch!

But first some foosball...... After lunch the rain started again......so the send off party was cancelled.....really people? are you made of sugar!lol..... We had a wonderful dinner, went to see a pre show and then headed to the nightly show..... and headed to bed....it was a LONG day!


Disney Cruise-Day 4, Pirates in the Caribean

On our first day on board, we had met a wonderful couple from Britian (Hi P & M!) that gave us some wonderful tips of what to do and where to be for different events. (They had done the same cruise the previous week). Though hubby wasn't feeling well, he dragged himself to dinner, deciding to return to the room after dinner as the pain was too much so Adrien and I headed up to deck 9. We sat in the same spot as our send off party the first day, knowing that the characters come down the side stairwell. We watched as the entertainment staff interacted with the big screen pirate, had group competitions and got the party started. Then the characters arrived....at this point Adrien was exhausted and just wanted to be held....I was sweating buckets from holding him and the night heat! Finally, we decided to go....and then we bumped into P & M, who encouraged us to wait it out, it was almost done and Mickey would be flying through the air to save the ship form the pirates and the fireworks would start. So with P & M, we went up to Deck 10, where we could still watch the show and would have prime spots for the fireworks. P took Adrien from me so that I could cool down and we enjoyed the rest of the show.