"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break." -Chinese Proverb



11.2.10

Letter


Right before Christmas our social worker contacted us letting us know that Adrien's mom's sister had called her and left a message. The social worker felt that the aunt was calling to set up contact with him and wanted to know how we felt about it. Though our initial feelings were fear and threatened, we only want what is best for our son and knowing EVERYONE in his family, including birth, foster and adoptive, is in his best interest as long as it is safe for him. Plus, because we have very little information and no picture of his mom, we thought this would be a good opportunity for us to fill in some of those blanks. We had some really tough conversations, like how would it impact him if there was only one visit.....how would it impact him is there was sporadic contact....we went through a bunch of different scenarios......in the end, we both agreed that we would NEVER stop any form of contact, because he does have more than one mom (and though many do not agree with me that he has more then one mom, I am comfortable with it and in my heart it is our family's truth)....Turns out it wasn't contact she wanted. Anyways.....it got me thinking......a lot....I couldn't get it out of my head.....he has a whole other family out there that know about him and have no idea where he is, how he is doing, what he's like....how great he is and how lucky we are to be raising him {smile}....The first week of January, I wrote a letter to him mom.....nothing personal about Rob and I, just about Adrien, what he likes and doesn't like, how he's grown, his learning....it was a page and a half all about this great little person....I sent it to the social worker who sent it to her last known address.....It is the middle of February and I haven't heard back.....I'm honestly not surprised, though I am disappointed.....I want the best for Adrien....and though in the beginning of this adoption journey I was all for a closed adoption, I have grown as a person and am sad that my son may not have that....I think it's really important for a person to see themselves in others, to feel connected in all aspects of their lives and to know that they have always been loved. I will continue to send letters on his birthday as he grows and maybe one day there will be a response.....for his sake I hope so.

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